Wheezy Strikes Again

 Once again I bring you Wheezy, the Photoshop Wizard and my real girlfriend.

Just Words?

Like the rest of the country, I’ve caught the Obama fever. As with any of my political affiliations and aspirations, this has caused much dismay to my Mother, (although she’s probably happier that I’m not supporting Billary) who still believes that Obama is secretly a Muslim and a communist.

Check out Obama here in response to claims that his message is ‘just words.’

Happy Valenties Day Victoria!

Don’t Poop On The Bengals

As if I couldn’t get worse for the most overrated team in football, Bengals’ officials are now taking extreme measures to eradicate a bunch of mischievous pigeons that have begun to shit on unsuspecting fans during home games at Paul Brown Stadium.

Oh the irony.

The AP reports that stadium officials are seeking permission from the city of Cincinnati to “shoot down pigeons that are pooping on Bengals fans’ heads — and in their food and beer — during games.”

They want to take high-powered pellet rifles and gun down these defecating menaces, although not during games. Moral of the story: don’t poop on Bengals fans or in their beer, or you might get capped.

Now this was originally confusing to me, because the Bengals defense gets shit on repeatedly on Sundays, and nobody gets killed. But then I remembered how many Bengals’ players have been arrested in the past three years.

You do math. The pigeons are only the start.

David Guetta Is My New Favorite DJ

I love ATB, but David Guetta has to be my favorite DJ right now. This guy has put out so many good songs in the past year, it’s hard to keep track. His newest album, Pop Life, is fucking great.

If you haven’t heard ‘Baby When The Light’ or ‘Love Is Gone‘ (probably the biggest song in the clubs this summer), then you’ve been missing out. Not to mention ‘The World Is Mine‘ which is one of the best songs I’ve heard in a long time.

If you like those, then download the album, because it’s one of my top in 2007. Right up there with The Field, Kaiser Chiefs, and Spoon.

Here’s a clip of ‘Baby When The Light’.

Musings about Austin City Limits

This year’s trip back to the homeland for ACL was among the more memorable of my now five years of attendance.

Good music, amazing food, great friends, and a little urine. That’s right, urine.

I love going back to Austin for ACL because I get a chance to see a lot of old friends that I don’t normally see. It’s a good excuse for everyone to get together. Every year I tend to see someone that I haven’t seen for a very long time and it is usually pretty interesting. This year was no exception.

On Saturday the little lady and I were hanging out watching Arctic Monkeys rock out when we met up with two friends I went to high school with. One of them, who I won’t name, I had not seen in well over four years. He was a pretty good friend in high school and generally a good guy. Today however, he was WASTED at about 5 PM. Let the comedy ensue.

After stopping off at the beer stand to get what I soon learned was his 10th beer (he was chasing the beers with a plastic bottle full of wine which he would later claim to be acid), we headed over to camp out for Muse.

We picked a good spot close to the stage and the seven people in my current crew and I sat around for a little down time. My old friend, after screaming at everyone for a good 10 minutes for not putting him in their Top 8 on MySpace, and almost burning me twice with his cigarette, decided he needed to go to the bathroom.

You can imagine our surprise when he returned a few minutes later. The bathrooms were not close, and his drunk ass had to navigate through a couple hundred people on blankets.

Now imagine our surprise when we all noticed the very large, very wet spot that had suddenly appeared in a 10 inch radius surrounding the front of his pants.

Yep, you guessed it. He pissed himself.

Now I don’t know what was funnier, the fact that he had pissed himself and clearly did not know this had occurred (wine, anyone?), or that we were all sitting on a blanket and he was standing such that the scene of the crime on his pants was directly in front of our faces, often times waiving dangerously close to the heads innocent bystanders.

The remaining time waiting for Muse was spent watching him try to grope women, yell more about not being in Top 8’s on MySpace, calling my friends from India Brazilians, calling my Native American friend an Indian in front of the Indians, and screaming that he was on drugs. All after having pissed his pants.

After being absolutely annihilated by Muse (more later), it was the consensus of the group that our felon had turned into a repeat offender. He pissed himself again.

Now I can understand Muse making someone piss themselves, but that was ridiculous.

I must admit that had this not occurred, the weekend wouldn’t have been nearly as memorable. It’s great to see old friends. It’s even better when they piss themselves. Twice.

Now, to the music.

Let it be known heretofore that the band called Muse will be placed in the upper echelon of the Brooklyn TX Music Experience with the likes of Pearl Jam, Rage Against the Machine, and Tool. In fact, I would put them ahead of Korn and Deftones.

This band is absolutely amazing – on an entire other level than any band out right now. ACL Festival was my third time to see these blokes (see my MSG review) and they keep getting better and better.

It’s not just the lights, video, and coordination of the show. These guys are amazing musicians that will fucking scorch your face off with some of the hardest shit around. They aren’t associated with some of the harder rock bands, but I have no bones about saying that Muse is just as hard as Metallica. I’ve seen both bands three times.

I’m going to post some videos of Muse at ACL to wet your appetite, but first, here’s my ranking of the bands I saw:

Muse
LCD Soundsystem
Kaiser Chiefs
Cold War Kids
Arctic Monkeys
The Killers
Spoon
Damien Rice
Andrew Bird

Oh and I’m pissed that missed Peter Bjorn & John although I heard they sucked.

You can check out Wheezy’s take at Why Not.

Now without further adieu, the Muse videos.

A compilation video

Feeling Good

Take a Bow

Starlight

Hysteria

Super Massive Black Hole

Daft Punk + Kanye West = Awesome

In case you’ve been living under a rock, Daft Punk and Kanye West have teamed up for “Stronger,” the second single off of Kanye’s new album Graduation that drops September 18th. Check it. Hopefully Universal Music won’t take it down.

So Close I Can Smell Texas

I love September.

Labor Day has come and gone, marking the unofficial end to summer here in the Big Apple. No more McCarren Pool Parties, River to River Festival, or wearing white dresses. Except maybe in Chelsea.

But what it does mean is football, more football, and ACL Festival!!

Next weekend for the fifth straight year I will be attending the annual music festival that turns Austin on it’s heels and pours out more sweat than Travis after watching the Call On Me video. Stay tuned for a review when I get back.

Shiner Bock at Whole Foods on Bowery?!?

Not quite yet. But the new Whole Foods Market on Bowery introduced what can only be described as a beer lover’s utopia: a Beer Room boasting over 200 different beers, many of which you won’t find anywhere else in New York.

Not only do they have six local beers on tap – including Brooklyn Blanche which I’ve only found at Brooklyn Brewery here in Williamsburg – but they ENCOURAGE requests for new types of beer.

Imagine my glee. OK stop. Now imagine my glee again. GLEE.

Now I’ve already spoken with the ‘beerkeep’ and formally requested Shiner Bock, but I encourage every other Texan in New York to call and hassle. The beerkeep was both surprised and excited by my request.

The official line was look for it in 2-4 weeks, and expect a full list of beers on the Whole Foods Bowery Beer Room site in the very near future.

In the meantime, if you can’t wait to take Shiner home, the BrooklynTX street team has spotted Shiner on sale at Rodeo Bar and at RUB. But you’ll have to enjoy it at the bar.

Whole Foods Market Bowery Beer Room
95 E. Houston (at 2nd Ave), 212-420-1320

The Hipster Olympics

My roomie Breisen stumbled upon what is probably the most hilarious portrayal of the myth and legend that is the Williamsburg hipster.

For those of you that are not from around these parts, Williamsburg a neighborhood in Brooklyn notorious for it’s uber-hip wanna-be artists/musicians/actors residents, known in layman’s terms as the hipster.

A more adequate description would be:

The hipster listens to bands that you have never heard of and has a hairstyle that can only be described as “complicated” (most likely achieved by a minimum of one week not washing it). Probably tattooed. Definitely cooler than you. Reads Black Book, Nylon, and the Styles section of the New York Times. Drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon. Often. Complains. Always denies being a hipster. Probably living off parents money – and spends a great deal of it to look like they don’t have any. Has friends and/or self cut hair. Dyes it frequently (black, white-blonde, etc. and until scalp bleeds). Has a closet full of clothing but usually wears same three things OVER AND OVER (most likely very tight black pants, scarf, and ironic tee-shirt). Chips off nail polish artfully after $50 manicure. Sleeps with everyone and talks about it at great volume in crowded coffee shops. Addicted to coffee, cigarettes (Parliaments, Camel Reds, Lucky Strikes, etc.), and possibly cocaine. Claims to be in a band. Rehearsals consist of choosing outfits for next show and drinking PBR. Majors or majored in art, writing, or queer studies. Name-drops. May go by “Penny Lane,” “Eleanor Rigby,” etc. when drunk. On PBR. Which is usually.

So enjoy this hilarious tribute to hipsterdom, The Hipster Olympics.